Super (Pancake) Tuesday

Nothing like Pancake Tuesday to put you in good humour. It's a bit like New Year's Eve minus the in-built popularity contest and the pressure to celebrate even though you'd rather stay home and eat all the mangy orange Roses from the bottom of the tin. But exactly like New Year's Eve in that it's the last day before lent and it brings all the promise of tomorrow's new and healthy life where nothing fattening, alcoholic or containing nicotine will ever cross your lips again. Plus there's pancakes which of course is the best bit.  Or indeed it used to be. I'm dismayed to learn this morning that 40% of Irish people will buy readymade pancakes or readymade mixes this year. How rubbish are we? Apparently combining milk, eggs and flour in a bowl has become so taxing and complicated that there is a big market for more 'convenient' options. Now I'm all in favour of lazy shortcuts; I've been known to spend evenings marooned on the sofa watching programmes on aeronautical engineering on Discovery simply because I couldn't find the remote control.

But shortcuts should afford at least some advantage (above case in point: I think I could now land a 747 if really pushed and the pilot had had the fish etc. etc.) But I am less than impressed by the convenience options of the pancake world. Firstly there is that weird bottle with powder in the bottom, where you add water and shake. This is a travesty. Nowhere do I recall seeing water as an ingredient in pancakes. Even in the lean times of my childhood (when we walked to school barefoot in the snow etc.) we always had milk. Then there are the readymade ones from the supermarket bakeries - modelled on the American variety, these frisbees are an inch thick, chewy and taste of nothing. Finally, there's the pre-packed sort of lacy crepes that resemble J-cloths in both taste and texture. None of these are good options. And if you don't believe me, consult the clever folks at the Irish Times. Conor Pope reviewed a selection of pancake products and gave top marks to his homemade variety in yesterday's PriceWatch column. And he is the Simon Cowell of the consumer world. Even when he's mean, he's right.

Look, the rules are simple. Pancakes should be very, very, very thin. They should be made from (organic) milk, eggs, flour and a pinch of salt and fried in real butter, not oil. Yes, the butter is likely to burn and you will have to open every window and door in the house during the coldest month of the year to get rid of the smoke. That is a given. Get over it. Your children may develop pneumonia but they are resilient and in years to come they won't be sharing childhood tales of woe centred around rubbery, tasteless pancakes.