Surviving Christmas

David's advice for managing the demands of the festive season with children.

So Christmas draws closer and everyone is happy…or at least so we are led to believe.  In reality Christmas can be a very stressful time for families and so it is worth knowing what to look out for and how to reduce that stress. Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of what the holiday will be like.  We can have memories of great Christmases from our own childhood and we can strive hard to recreate them for our children. But if we can’t quite regenerate the magic then we can end up very disappointed.

Children too expect a lot at Christmas.  Their Santa lists can be long and occasionally unattainable and so they too can be disappointed if they don’t get all that they wanted.  Christmas costs money these days and there is no surer way to put families under stress than to be running short of money or to be facing major debt.  Also, if you have any family rivalries running then you can be sure that extended family gatherings over Christmas will bring it all to the fore.

Prepare in advance

The most likely way that all of these stresses will be acted out over Christmas is through shortened tempers, raised voices and tantrums for all. To beat the Christmas stress for you and your family your best bet is to be realistic in your planning.  Planning is a good thing in itself and knowing what is ahead and how you will accomplish it can reduce stress.  Preparing as much as you can in advance, whether it be cooking, cleaning, shopping or decorating will stand you in good stead over the Christmas break. Build family traditions into your Christmas.  Traditions might be as simple as eating at home on Christmas day, singing carols (with or without CD accompaniment!), decorating the tree as a family, lighting Christmas candles, baking Christmas cookies and so on.  Having the same thing happen again, year in and year out, adds to the magic of Christmas and gives your children something solid to bring forward to their own children in years to come.

Manage expectations

Sometimes we have to manage children’s expectations too.  If we know that Santa will be hard pushed to get a certain toy (or toys) from the list then it is no harm to warn children in advance.  A good phrase to use is: “Santa may not be able to get everything that you asked for and so because he knows how disappointing this can be for children he often tries to get them a surprise instead” and hopefully Santa will indeed be able to get a surprise for the child. Reprioritise when it comes to money.  “Things” are rarely what makes Christmas.  Time, relationships and family are what you probably recall making Christmas special in the past.  So it is for today also.  You can’t buy Christmas, so in your preparations only buy what you can afford and spend more energy on making positive connections with those around you (especially the relatives you really can’t stand!).